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Thursday, 29 November 2007



Grief is so-personal, isn't it? I have no advice to offer, because my experience is different. When my mom died I was 20 and I didn't want to talk about it either. I still rarely talk about my mom with my dad it's 20 years later.

I have a friend who had a stillborn child and she once talked to a group about how she wished people would mention calvin but people were afraid to upset her and she was afraid to mention him so no one said anything. It's such a difficult thing because there is no etiquette, no right way to deal with it. I do hope eventually you and your mom reach a good place with it. I wish our culture had better rules for dealing with death, I think it would make things much easier if we had a set ritual where we could grieve properly and talk about it.


sometimes it's so hard to be open and admit our grief; denial is a stage we gotta get past before we're ready move on - it just takes time and patience....prayers for you and your mom....


Hello, I found you from wisecraft. I laughed out loud at your conversation about the egg and cat food, we've had similar here!, and then I cried when i read about your grief. This will be the second christmas since my father died and my mother is finding it hard. Differently maybe, she wants to talk and have everyone around all the time. She wants to arrange family meal after family meal and they all end in her tears. It's hard to explain that for me its suffocating and my little ones feel sad and worried for her. Grief is a personal thing and I too hope that you and your mother both find your way with it. xxx


I can really relate to nothing making sense if you're woken from a nap. I hope things with you and with your mom get better. It's so hard to lose someone and sometimes harder to feel like you've lost someone who is still here.


Amanda, I love the story of the pink egg! I wish I had something to offer you for your mom. I know you would like to help her, but I think this is one of those times where you need to take care of you and let her take care of herself. I lost my first husband when I was 31. So much of my grief was compounded by other people's expectations, especially my adult stepchildren who I had always been close to. The person who helped me the most wasn't even someone close to me. I had a neighbor that invited me out every night to join her on her walk. She just walked with me and made no other demand- implied or otherwise. That was the most helpful thing in the world to me. This is so rambling and weird- I hope you know I'm not saying to abandon you mom. I guess I am finding myself relating to her when really, I have no reason to. I am certainly sending good thoughts your way.

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